The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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