i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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