You work out of a Hotel?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Two words: blizzard sex
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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