hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
