i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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