She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
