I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
