i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
last night I used snow as a chaser
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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