I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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