That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Someone signed my nipple.
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