that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize