i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
