you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
