did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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