I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
