YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
