? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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