i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
