Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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