I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
