The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
