Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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