We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
