So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize