Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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