You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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