new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
