I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
