the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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