I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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