Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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