if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
