is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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