I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
