i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
