then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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