You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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