dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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