Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
