i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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