Whoa Z and x make the same sound
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
