Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
