In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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