Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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