so explain again why im purple
no
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
