She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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