so that wasnt chicken after all
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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