My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm passing your future prison.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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