im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
