I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
