Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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