I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
