If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
