i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
