it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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