How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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