I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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