God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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