There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
