Its about making memories worth repressing
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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