Porn is love you can see.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
