It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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