Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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