So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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