I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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